How do I Ask my Parents for a Bra?

By Miranda Diez

Asking for your first bra shouldn't be a scary thing. Yeah, we know talking to parents about our changing bodies during puberty might sound cringey, but you have to remember that they had to go through it too. It's just part of life. Asking your parents for your first bra is no exception. As long as you feel emotionally and physically ready to start wearing a bra, your parents will understand. 

But it can be hard to know where to start. How should I ask? What do I say? Are they gonna ask me questions about it? We get it, it can be a little overwhelming. So, we've come up with a few steps that will hopefully give you the resources and courage to ask your parents for your first bra. 

Steps to ask your parents for your first bra

Step 1: Brainstorm

Write down why you want a bra - Since this has been something that's been weighing on your mind for a while, writing stuff down might help organize your thoughts. Maybe you can take note of 

  • Some styles you like
  • Retailers that match your vibe and offer a range of sizes and designs
  • Outfits you currently own that you would feel more comfortable wearing if you had a bra

Or anything else that can help you plan out what to say to your parents.

Step 2: Practice

Rehearse what you'll say to them - This is an important question that some parents may or may not be prepared to hear. So, we have to figure out what to say beforehand. 

  • Tell your parent(s) that you know you're ready for your first bra. Ex. "I've been giving it a lot of thought recently, and I feel like I'm ready to wear a bra."
  • Explain why you want a bra. Ex. Comfort, confidence, etc.
  • If you have friends who have started wearing bras, you can bring that up as well. Ex. "Some of my friends have started wearing bras, and they say they're really comfortable..."
  • Show your research. If you're comfortable showing them your brainstorming page, this could show them how serious and well researched you are about getting your first bra.

* It's important to remember that you shouldn't feel any social pressure from friends or classmates to start wearing a bra. Wearing a bra is a personal choice that only you can make with the support of your parents.

Step 3: Ask

Find the right time and place - Making sure that you've picked the right moment for this serious conversation will go a long way. If your parents are in a comfortable environment and are at ease, this makes for a good opportunity to ask.

  • Good times/places to ask: at home, in the mall near a bra store, while online shopping, on a relaxing car ride
  • Bad times/places to ask: in a social situation (i.e. party, family event, etc.), in a busy space (i.e. crowded store, stressful traffic, etc.), and if your parent(s) had a bad day

What if they say no?

Even if you put a ton of effort into your research, practice what you're gonna say, and ask at the perfect time, there's still a chance that your parents say no. This can be a disappointing result, but don't get discouraged. Try to understand that some parents may not be emotionally prepared to hear that their daughter is growing up and is ready for a bra. You might need to give them some time and space to think. 

If they say no, you have to stay calm and ask questions to clear up the situation. "When is the right time?" "Is there anything I can do to change your mind?" "Is there a way we can compromise?" Asking your parents these questions will show them that you are mature, responsible, and ready for this next step. Being prepared to hear angry, frustrated, or confused responses from your parents is also important. But hopefully, by asking your follow-up questions and explaining why you feel so strongly about getting a bra will change their mind.

They said yes!

YASSS! Amazing! All your hard work, research, and efforts have paid off! Now it's time for the fun part, choosing your first bra. Talk to your parents to find out how involved they want to be in this process. For example, they might appreciate it if you showed them which bra you were thinking BEFORE you hit Pay Now while online shopping. They might want to be there when you get sized for a bra and help you pick the perfect one in-store. Whatever method you agree on, this is a huge step for you. We're proud of you! 

If you're looking for a good place to start bra shopping, Apricotton offers cute, versatile, and comfortable designs that are sure to make both you and your parents super happy. Visit their shop to learn more!

About the Author:

Miranda Diez is a recent graduate from Ryerson University's Professional Communication program with minors in Marketing and Communication Design. She currently works in freelance writing and graphic design. Miranda is an avid dragon boat paddler and loves the outdoors.