How to Deal with Overprotective Parents
By: Melody Lau
When the Apricotton team was trying to plan a cottage trip, I was surprised that many of our team members also had to ask for permission from their parents.
I thought it was just me.
We may be getting older, but our parents often still influence our decisions… and they will probably continue well into our late adulthood.
If you’re in your tween or teen years with overprotective parents, the paragraphs above may sound discouraging, but we want you to know that having strict parents can also be a good thing.
When I was in elementary school, I remember feeling annoyed with my parents when my friends were allowed to stay after school and hang out at the park but they thought it was dangerous for us to be left unsupervised.
I may not have understood back then, but thinking about it now, I totally see how leaving a few ten-year-old kids out and about may cause some fear in parents. I probably would’ve gotten lost on the way back home or just in nature.
Safety first. It’s all out of love, but that also doesn’t mean you can’t get your taste of freedom as well.
Here are some tips for the next time you’re asking your parents for permission:
Rephrase Your Question
Instead of nervously asking a question, try to change your question into a statement. For example, you can say “I’m going to the mall after school today with my friends and Katie’s mom is going to pick us up after”. I know this may not be the best case for all scenarios, especially when you’re asking a more serious question, but try it out and see how your parents will react. They may see you as more mature and confident with your wants and decisions.
Understand Your Parents’ Point of View
However, if your parents still say no, take the time to ask them what their reasonings or concerns are. You can also try to justify yourself and provide more details to further understand why they won’t give you permission. I think the biggest lesson that I’ve learned throughout the years is that our parents don’t want to be overbearing or annoying to upset us, but they have genuine worries or personal experiences that help explain why they think what you’re proposing may not be the best idea.
Meet in the Middle
Although listening to our parents is always important, they need to listen to us as well. Sometimes our parental figures forget that they grew up in a totally different time period or just the fact that many things have changed since they were our age. What’s acceptable now may not be the case decades ago. Try to reason with your parents or bring in a friend or family member that may be able to provide guidance. There may not be a perfect solution, but perhaps you can find a middle ground where both you and your parents feel at ease with your decision.
Overprotective parents can be tough, but one day at a time, they’ll learn to keep letting you grow on your own.
If you have any “embarrassing” questions that are living rent-free in your mind, be sure to message us! Please remember that no questions are ever embarrassing or too awkward.